I was sitting in the pool today at Roark and was thinking about what my purpose is. All this was brought about because I was having a crappy day. There wasn't really any reason for it other than I had come off of two days of being off and was struggling with motivation. I pretty much felt like a bum most of the day. Anyways, I was sitting in the pool thinking about all of this. Who am I living for? Am I really seeking to do a good job for the glory of God or for my own? It feels like I'm doing it for my own sake many times. Than I started prayer "God, I want to serve you and do your wil not for my sake but that you may be glorified." But than I started thinking, "Is my hopeful end result of this that God is glorified or maybe that God is glorified and than things also work out for me." However, this is true because when we are glorifying the Lord we are doing what's best but it shouldn't be for our own sake. This probably doesn't make much sense. If only the thoughts in my head would come out in a coherent flow on the screen. I read a really cool quote once in Madame Bovary. It said "human speech is like a cracked pot on which we beat out rhythms for bears to dance to when we are striving to make music that will wring tears from the stars." I just think that is such a beautiful statement and I feel that so many times. It's like there's this deepness inside of you, this burning that you want to express but you just can't. I feel it sometimes when I hear a certain song or read a story. It's like something just gets stirred up inside of you. I think that those are the times when the eternity that God has created in our hearts becomes apparent.
It's been about a day and a half since I started this post and I totally lost my train of thought. My dad sent me some pictures of my niece.
Here's some more
I like her so much...it makes me really want to have kids of my own.
I saw Spider Man 3 last night at midnight. It was pretty lame. I think Nick and I are going to start a movie review blog. Spiderman 3 will be our first. I definitely felt the consequences of my actions today. I was tired and cranky all day. It was so cool to see how God used me even in my crankiness. Well thanks for reading and have an awesome day!
1 comment:
I'm so glad God can use us even when we're cranky, cause I definitely have my cranky-pants days. :) My poor kids. I've learned with them, that it's better to just be up front about the crankiness- confess it, laugh about it, and then they're more prone to be understanding, and I stop taking myself so seriously. Here's to the goodness of God in the midst of his sometimes-cranky kids!
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